XMAS in Japan

As Xmas time rolls around, here in Japan...nothing has changed.  The Japanese do not celebrate Xmas - but since they LOVE Halloween - I had a little hope.  
But ~ NOTHING.
Well, I can't actually say 'nothing' because there are a few places here that have the lights in the windows.  I have been told by a friend that if you drive 2 hours, there is a little village that has set up Xmas lights everywhere.  My thoughts...2 hours in a car, a 3 year-old, cold outside...ummm, NO.  Luckily my husband felt the same!


In Japan some do give Christmas presents. Some parents give presents to their children, but the children do not give presents to the parents. The reasoning  ~ only Santa bring presents, so once the children no longer believe in Santa the presents are no longer given.  (That blows!)  I mean who doesn't LOVE a good present???  No matter how old you are.


Anyway, December 25th is not a national holiday in Japan, although December 23rd, which is the birthdate of the present emperor, is. Here the Xmas tradition is to maybe put up a few lights, some even might have a tree - but the actual day of Xmas is sort of a 'date night' here.
You are supposed to spend that day/night with your significant other.  Its not about family or anything like that.  Christmas seems to be closer to the Western concept of Valentine's Day.
Christmas Eve has been hyped by the T.V. media as being a time for romantic miracles. It is seen as a time to be spent with one's boyfriend or girlfriend in a romantic setting, so fancy restaurants and hotels are often booked solid. It is also a time when girls get to reveal their affections to boys and vice versa. Because of this, extending a girl an invitation to be together on Christmas Eve has very deep, romantic implications.


For single women in Japan it is really crucial to have someone to spend Christmas eve with. It is also really important for them where they spend Christmas eve and what present they receive. The whole evening must be very special, gorgeous and romantic. Japanese women who have a boy friend tend to show off, so women who don't are not happy to talk about the topic.

There is also a "sarcasm" that Christmas is compared with a woman's age. Cake shops throughout Japan always try to sell all their Christmas cakes before Christmas eve. Any cakes left after Christmas are seen to be very old or out of date. Women over 25 years old have been referred to as 'unsold Xmas cake.'
NICE.  I can only IMAGINE how well that would go over in the States.  Think of all the black eyes and sore groins the men would have if they said that to a single woman age 25!!!!  
Actually a very funny thought!


Something else strange, thanks to the marketing prowess of Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Christmas Chicken Dinner has become all the rage. Many Japanese even make reservations for their "Christmas Chicken" ahead of time. People will line up at the outlets to get their chickens.  As a result of KFC's advertising, most Japanese now believe that Westerners celebrate Christmas with a chicken dinner instead of the more common ham or turkey.


Here in our house, we have our little Charlie Brown Xmas tree (which is shorter than I am), we have a handful of presents under the tree for the little guy (most of which are Japanese so if they tear-up, we have no idea how to read the instructions to fix them!!!) and we can't send any gifts home (not that I have found anything worthy of sending) because of the "nothing over 16 OUNCES" can be accepted to the USA right now).  


Soooo...
what does one do here during this un-festive time...
WE PLAN A TRIP TO GUAM!
Now while I know Guam is NOT what you would normally think of when you think "vacation" - but, I hear its actually quite nice.  A beach, warm weather, and SHOPPING!
Yes, shopping!
They speak English, they have real stores, and real food and, and, and...a water-park!!! (Yeah - who are the coolest parent's ever gonna be this year?!!!)


So while I am missing Xmas with family, missing the snow that we got at home, and missing getting my own presents...
I am going to be pretty happy to lay my very white American butt on a beautiful sandy beach!


メリークリスマス ~ Merry Christmas!


Deeds

A Doc in a Box - LITERALLY

Some might wonder (as I did) what EXACTLY you do here in Japan when you get really sick?
When your 3 year old gets sick?
or if an earthquake knocks down your house, you escape and you need medical attention?
(By-the-way, we experienced our FOURTH earthquake last night...AT 3 AM!!)  - let me tell you - it is scary as hell to be woken up with your bed knocking against the wall...and you aren't the one making it move. VERY poltergeist.

A-N-Y-W-A-Y,
Here there is a very strict protocol:
Anything emergency - you can call the "ambulance" - but they are NOT allowed to do anything to you, administer ANY treatment or anything of the like.  They are merely TRANSPORT people.
If you want someone to DO something - stop the bleeding, wrap a broken leg until you get to the hospital to have it reattached or even just have someone tell you they suspect you are hypochondriac...you call the fire department!
Why the fire department?  I HAVE NO IDEA.

Anything non-emergency...you are on your own.
Before we moved here - we had a friend of a friend who had just moved back to the USA from Japan - she gave me her "medical" book.  All doctors in our area, their "specialty," and addresses and phone numbers. While I thought this was the best thing she could have ever done for me...now that I am here - I see it makes no difference what-so-ever!  NONE!

My son is three, and if you have a kid....you KNOW they get sick ALL THE TIME.  All the fun little germs that follow them home from school or daycare or the dreaded play area in the mall. So while we have been here only a short time - we have now seen THREE of the different children's doctors.
In the States, mom's usually go to great lengths to find a pediatrician BEFORE they have their kid.  They want to make sure that they like their personality and demeanor before entrusting their sick child to them for the next 10 years.
I had that.  Not anymore.
Now - I just HOPE I can understand, and I pray that my son never gets anything worse than a cold!

So, short version:  my list of the doctors:
(let me preface this by saying:  since we cannot read Japanese - we call the doctors by whatever the picture is on  their office door.  and they mostly all have one)
1)  The Bluff Man
2)  The Garden Lady
3) The Dolphin
4)  The Pig

Everyone here tells you something, good and bad, about each doctor - so we just started going  - to see who made ME feel better about my sons illnesses.

The Bluff Man we have seen several times.  He is somewhat quick, he speaks fairly good English, and we can usually get in the same day we call.
His office is clean and 'big' compared to everything else I have seen here. It has one bathroom (old school style), two exam rooms (both of which you can see into when you walk in the front door)  and his office - which also doubles as the MAIN exam room.
He prescribes the same medicine EVERY time.  Luckily it has worked.  I basically went in the 1st time and told him "we need Amoxicillan - the strongest you have."  (Here the medicines are about HALF the strength of medicines in America)
But it makes me wonder if he EVER prescribes anything else.  Or if Amoxicillan is his answer for it all?

The Pig I was told NEVER to go to.  But in an emergency flu situation - I decided to try it.  I was shocked when I went in.  VERY small.  The waiting room is about the size of a walk-in closet. There was no hallway to the exam room - there was a door, and then you were in a room about the size of your average American dining room.
Once in the 'dining room'  there was desk in the middle of the room, half of the room seemed to house all the supplies - stacked against the wall (and I swear there was a gurney pushed up against the boxes - casually covered by a sheet).  The other side of the room housed a couch (very old school) with a velveteen blanket over it and a stool between the desk and the couch. The couch was the exam table...scary.
This man was very talkative, and spoke very fast - broken English. He was more interested in "talking English" with me and showing my son very rudimentary magic tricks - than he was in diagnosing my child's illness.
Its sad when your 3-year-old asks why the strange man-doctor was doing those weird tricks.

Finally, The Garden Lady...I have heard she is the best pediatric doctor around here.  So much so that the adults try to go see her as well. This is where we ended up today.
Once again we walked into a building and immediately we are in the middle of 25 people waiting! While in a normal size office, or an office with more than one doctor, or even a ratty-ass Centra Care - this might not be anything to be alarmed about.  But when you have just arrived in another walk-in-closet - - it was cause for concern!
and of course they are all staring at us.  Foreigners, blonde, and very tall.  Yep, we fit right in.  ugh.

After I filled out the paper work, she said "2 hour" - I said, um...NO.
We have appointment.  She shook her head.  "We no take appointments." - well that's funny since someone told me this morning to be there at 10:30.
She walked away - and then came out another door (which I never even saw it was so small) - and she motioned us in. Maybe because we were foreigners - who knows.  I was just happy to go ahead of all those others waiting!
I was so happy to follow her I hadn't paid any attention but once I closed the door and turned around -  low and behold - I had walked into a coat closet that had been made into a makeshift exam room.
I kid you not - I could sit on the dwarf size 'cot' and put my legs straight out and touch the other wall with my feet. The room contained only a pillow, a sitting stool and a large file cabinet. My stomach got queasy just at the thought of "what have I gotten us into now?"
So they finally shuffled us into ANOTHER room - with a large (well, relatively speaking) partition. I swear it looked like a make-shift M.A.S.H. hospital.  You could hear everything going on with the patient on the other side of the partition.
Three nurses hovering on the corners - all with the Michael Jackson type hospital masks on and what looked like candy-striper outfits on.
Then a little kid comes out from the other side - sporting a mask, an IV and the rolling liquid bag.  It took everything I had to not whisk my son the hell outta there...right then.

So she (Dr. Sato - as I now know) was nice.  Spoke good broken English and she was quick.  She said he didn't need medicine "right now" - but if his fever stayed until Wednesday - bring him back to give him a BLOOD TEST.  I thought, what-the-hell?  Then the vision of the kid with the IV bag and rolling pole came back and it was all I could do to get out of there.

So we are home, no medicine, and no closer to getting a diagnosis.  We are loading up on Vitamin C, liquids and lots of rest.
And all with the conclusion that if push comes to shove...it will be back to the Bluff Man for at least a little Amoxicillan - to kill WHATEVER it is that lurks inside my child. (and hopefully some peace of mind knowing I am trying to cure him).

Suddenly the very large, over-priced, 5 doctor office we previously had in the USA- - doesn't look so bad.

Out of their closets~
Deeds

My THIRD Earthquake

Yesterday, we had another earthquake.
Here they would classify it as "a little one"...6.6


Some people didn't even know we had one.  (how that's possible is BEYOND me)  - Do they just walk around on "shaky legs" throughout their regular day?  Like someone who has the wobbly - I might be drunk walk? I just don't see how its possible not to feel these earthquakes. Or how its possible to not feel the building you are in slowly start to sway, or to hear the walls creak as they start to move?  Its creepy - period.


Anyway,
yesterday, 12:15pm...I was in the car on the top floor of a parking garage and I had finished loading my wares and just happened to be backing out of the parking spot.  As most people do - I was backing out SLOWLY, looking for other cars...and all of a sudden  - my car started shaking side-to-side and I thought "I've hit a HUGE pothole".  And I mean car shaking to the point that my head would have bounced off one shoulder pad to the other (had it been the 80s and had I been wearing them)!
So I slowed down trying to "look" at what I had run over.  Nothing.
Then I saw the car beside me rocking side-to-side.  It looked like someone was behind it, pushing it, trying to tip it over.  Yes, it was rocking that much. 


So I stopped and waited.
All of about 10 seconds ~ and it was over.


Nothing more.  No tsunami.  No panicked people running & screaming.  Basically - no one even acted like anything happened. 
So I parked the car, got out, walked over to the side rail and just looked out over the water (yes, the only place to see the water is from the top of a building because of all the industry on the coastline).
I watched and waited.  NOTHING.  


I got back in the car and started my journey home.
All the while thinking to myself...I REALLY hope I am not here when the next BIG ONE hits.  And yes, they are predicting Japan is due to get one, a BIG one,  within the next few years!

The view from my shaky earthquake perch.  
Extremely thankful that this wasn't the last thing I ever saw!!!...the top of a Costco parking garage!!!




Rockin' and Rollin' (literally) in Japan~
Deeds

Looks Can be Deceiving

So as you might guess, things here in Japan are different.  Not only in the obvious (culture, looks, schools, cars, houses) but also in the little things.

Since my son is only 3 1/2 ~ there are still certain things that he likes that are only for little kids. And whenever possible - I go through every means possible to get him the comforts of home that he wants (Cheetos, Marshmellows and even the ever elusive Cinnamon Graham Crackers).
As you can imagine, some of the things he is use to are hard to find.  Sometimes it will take a whole days search & journey around town to find what I am looking for.
One British lady I met recently explained the expat wife's daily searches for the normal as:
"We hunt and we gather.  And when we find it, we gather as much as bloody possible because you never know when you will see it again."  I thought she was joking...she wasn't.

So in my quest to be a great mom, I went on the hunt for Bubble Bath.  We brought over an ENORMOUS bottle when we moved but since we have lived here - my son has decided that he likes bubbles in his bath more than he doesn't.  So starts the search - or so I think!

The first store I hit had this display of the cutest Winnie the Pooh bottles right up front by the register.  I thought - My lucky Day!
I grab, open, smell...PERFECT.

Get home and use the sweet honey-smelling stuff in my son's bath.  It looked a little runny-ier than usual, but I thought - hey, its Japan.  It didn't bubble very much and it made the water a little cloudy.  But none-the-less, my son smelled sweet and his skin felt like butter!

One afternoon when my Japanese teacher was here, I asked her to read a bunch of labels for me, tell me what my answering machine ACTUALLY said in Japanese and to read me the contents of the new Bubble Bath.

She said it was milk & honey scent.  She said to use a capful every-time.  And she said it was FABRIC SOFTENER!!!  Yes, I have been bathing my son in fabric softener!!

Poor kid.  Luckily I have only been washing his hair with fresh water from the spout.
Once again...life changes, and things DO NOT stay the same.
Still figuring it out - one LABEL at a time!

Deeds

THREADING

Recently I was with my friend W and she told me that if I ever needed to have my eyebrows "THREADED" - she had been introduced to this great lady here in Yokohama who was really good!

First and foremost - I had NO IDEA what she was talking about.  As we drove I thought, do I tell her that? because  the way she said it...it really seems like I should have SOME clue as to what she is talking about.  Then I thought, well the WAY she said it - she seemed to have so much confidence that I DID know EXACTLY what she was talking about - meant that I should lie and say "okay, Thanks"!
After about a minute of thought I said, W - I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about!!!


Of course she laughed at me, then looked at me and said "you're serious?" (in her great Welsh accent)  I said, well, yeah.
She said, 'oh, dahling...what hav' you been doin' with your hair?" - or something along those lines.

So a little farther into the conversation she informs me that THREADING is the Indian (dot not feather) way of removing "hair" with a piece of THREAD.
 - - OK, first and foremost, anything that requires hair AND thread - - scares the hell outta me!

So she says she's going to see her friend and if I want - I can come with!
COOL! - I'm IN. Always up for something new.
Mind you I made sure that she knew I had no intentions, WHAT-SO-EVER, of letting the lady with the string anywhere near me.
Just so you know ~
My fear stems from a terrible experience many, many years ago with another friend who talked me into getting WAXED.  Worst pain EVER.  Probably only next to breaking my feet.  Seriously, it was TERRIBLE.  Maybe I have no threshold for pain?  But the idea of someone putting wax on me and then RIPPING it off...is NOT my idea of fun or my idea of a great way to rid the body of unwanted hair.
(Even though my best girls have always called me Mrs. Bigglesworth!) - yes, the hairless cat from Austin Powers.)

So back then I let her talk me into the waxing anyway.  Not only did I get my eyebrows RIPPED from my head, but after we had that little bonding experience with PAIN...we were in Target 30 minutes later and I called her over to look at something and she immediately starts laughing.  Hysterically laughing!  Tears start streaming from her face, she is bent over laughing so hard she can't talk.  So I turn around and look behind me - KNOWING that someone behind me is making a huge fool out of them-self.  No one there.
I'm like, What?  No seriously, What?  Alright dammit...WHAT?
She still can't talk from laughter so she grabs my arm and leads me to the nearest mirror...
and there I was ~
I looked like a little kid who was playing Indian (feather not dot) and had gotten into Mommie's make-up.
Okay ~ you know the post-it notes that are small but rectangle?...about 1" by 3"?  Well, I had 5 of those on my face...two under my eyebrows, two OVER my eyebrows, and one BIG one right down the middle of my forehead and nose, and all were BRIGHT, DEEP RED.  And under the florescent lights in Target...
yeah, I looked like a total FREAK.  So now you know why I was little leery about the "THREADING"

So - back to present day, W comes to get me, we go about 2 miles, ending up in these really nice condos.  The nice lady lets us in, shoes off, my camera out (yes, I was only going if I could take photos) and a few short minutes later the process begins.
W sits down, the THREAD comes out - a little baby powder for good measure and wa-la, thread into mouth, twisted around her fingers and into the other hand...and it begins.

W said, "it doesn't really hurt...normally."
Yeah ~ WHATEVER.

It was fast and it was simple, but it sounded a little like a tiny grinder in the room because the thread was rubbing together so fast.  It SOUNDED like it HUURRRRT!

She came away looking like new.  But I was amazed at the preciseness of it all.  How do you know where to aim with the thread and how do you know how much hair it'll grab?  It looked to me like one false move and  you're Aaron Lennon (of the Spurs).







W made it out fine that day...a little red...but fine.
But ultimately, no thanks sister.  I'll stick to my tweezers!  
At least that way I am the only one causing me pain!



Just another curious day - here in Japan!
Love,
Mrs. B

What's in a NAME?

• Since we have been trying to get life straight after our long journey back to the States - - I have decided that this post needs to be an easy one and the result is a list:     the names of some of the cars here.  (Since I have been keeping a list now for months - literally, a piece of paper in the glove box).

As you would guess - there are different TYPES of cars all over the world, but I have also learned that some of the same TYPE cars just have different NAMES in different countries.  I guess they sell better?!  In the States people are preferring the numbers & letters while here not so much.  Take a look!

As you will see below...some of the ones here are
ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!
(all of these should probably be prefaced by "THE" - makes it even funnier!)

I have taken the liberty of highlighting MY favorites...

Enjoy ~ ~ ~

MOVE                                                                           CLIPPER RIO
TOYOACE                                                                    HIACE
LA FESTA                                                                     PINO
LEGRAND                                                                    PAJERO
FUGA                                                                           VELLFIRE
STAR                                                                            STREAM
GLORIA                                                                       SUCCEED
HINO                                                                           NV200
AIRWAVE                                                                   SKYLINE
STAGEA                                                                      SUNNY
ELF                                                                                SPACIO (which is SO tiny)
ROYAL SALOON                                                 FUSO
LIFE                                                                               TIIDA
NOTE                                                                            SIENTA
EXPERT                                                                        RACTIE
VOXY                                                                           WINGROAD
RETARDER (no kidding)                                         FIT
FREE                                                                               MARCH
OPA                                                                                CAMI
CHARIOT SUPER EXCEED                                      REGIUS ACE
CEDRIC                                                                     HOMY
SCRUM                                                                      
STARLET TURBO  - This one, I feel I should have been driving in high school!!!

AND THE OVERALL WINNERS:

• HIGH LUXE NAKED
• TOPPO - BJ
• JOY POP TURBO                                       

Ever since I started noticing the different names...I almost break my neck or wreck the car EVERY TIME I am out and about!...as if driving on the wrong side of the road isn't enough for me these days!!!!

Enjoy your day in your JOY POP TURBO!

Deeds

Halloween - Japanese Style

Well, we came back from the States a week early to experience our first Japanese Halloween.

I had heard rumors and I had also been WARNED.  Some of the neighbors were ready and excited about the event - some neighbors were telling of how they were packing up and heading out for the evening.  All of this led me to be a little wary.

So we began the day with a trip to the Club so that my son can have a little early trick or treat without any hassles or hiccups in the process.  All went well with a little haunted house in the gym and a few games set up for "little kids" so that they had the opportunity to get some candy, with a little bit of ease!
Afterwards we had lunch and then off to the house to meet our friends and start the evening of Trick or Treat!

We started about 4:30 in the afternoon because here it gets dark about 5:30 now...the Japanese do NOT observe ANY TYPE of Daylight Savings Time.  Which blows because in the middle of winter - it will start getting light at 3:30 AM...yes...AM.  Which is a whole other story when you have a 3 year-old!
I digress.

So... We start our journey and end up walking through the maze of the neighborhood which is a bunch of U-shaped streets.  At one point we encountered a kindly Skeleton Man waving skulls on sticks at us, directing us to go towards his home.

At this house (which was clearly the best decorated house in the neighborhood) there were people, well, Power Rangers, and a random DUCK...standing out front directing you thru the awning that led to the garage. (wait - isn't Kim Kardashian dating one of these Power Ranger guys???) anyway ~

From there we went thru the awning and down into the garage where they had it set up to walk thru crepe paper and decor to get to the table with the treats!
Behind their Treat table they had THEIR Treat table set up...containing food, drinks, a grill and all sorts of items for a lovely evening of celebrating!
I tried to stay...but they, nor my husband, were having any part of that!!!

Needless to say - - - this house was a HIT!   A little strange how "into it" they all were but COOL none-the-less!  Maybe I'm just lazy!

After a few more houses, and losing the rest of our com-padres to sleepy little kids...I cut out early to head back and hand out the candy that we had at the house.
We didn't have any decorations out because we had been in the U.S. for 4 weeks, we only had the porch light on...
when I walked up to the house there were 3 little kids waiting (they must have rung the doorbell) and were a little shocked when I came out from behind the car.

After that - it was like someone let the flood gates loose...

There were kids EVERYWHERE!  It was complete MADNESS I tell you.  I guess the word got out that we had a HUGE bucket of sweets and they came in masses!
At one point there were 30-40 kids deep standing in my driveway and around the corner in front of the next house. My husband and son were still walking the neighborhood getting candy and here I was besieged by kids!
The only way to describe it is - try to imagine that you are at a new restaurant or bar that has just opened up and it is the newest hot-spot in town.  Everyone wants to be there RIGHT NOW!!!  You can't get a table and you can't get a drink because everywhere you turn there are 30 people in front of you trying to do the same thing.  Well, I was the maitre'd, the waiter and the bartender...totally in the weeds (restaurant lingo for those of you lucky enough to never have had such a job)!  So much so that I couldn't even get a picture of it all.
All I could hear was...Trick or Treat-O.  Trick or Treat-O, and the occasional Happy Trick or Treat!
It was great!

Finally after all the craziness died down a little, my husband and son show up to a 3/4 empty goodie bowl and a little bit of a frazzled wife.
My son immediately started handing out the candy - and immediately the girls that showed up were all giggly.  Now I'm not talking about little girls...I'm talking about TEENAGE girls.  Girls dressed in fishnets and short skirts!  There was even one set of girls who asked to take a picture with him because was dressed as Superman too (mind you she was in a short skirt and heels)!  It was a little baffling.  Me and my husband just looked at each other.
Me: proud Mama and a little in awe at my son's ability to remain calm, like he'd been doing that forever!
His Dad:  Proud Papa looking on as his son deals with the ladies, and also shaking his head in disbelief that his youngest of all three sons is STILL the only one who is picking up the women in Japan!!!!!

Anyway, my son handed out the rest of the candy...one piece at a time.  Which was pretty smart considering all the people that kept showing up.  They just kept coming in droves!
The park beside our house, which is in the shape of rectangle, had bicycles parked all along the perimeter - all the way around.  There were cabs dropping people off and masses getting off the buses.

Our neighborhood, which is known for having all the foreigners and expats...gets all the trick-or-treaters...because they know that we all celebrate the holiday and that we have the good SUGARY candy.  The candy here isn't very sweet....so they come to us for the good stuff! For the sugar rush!

All in all it was something to behold.  Something we will never forget.

At the end of our candy bowl - we had to turn off the lights and just go inside so that we wouldn't get stuck in the middle of another mad rush and run out of candy in the middle of the line.

It was all such a whirlwind and seemed to go on FOREVER...but to give you some idea of how many people there were...and how flip-flopped I was ~

it only took about 45 minutes to hand out the biggest bowl of candy we've ever had at Halloween!!!!


We hope yours was one to remember too~
xoxo
Deeds

Around Stateside, and Back Again

It has been 5 days and we are STILL dealing with a little jet lag.  But, what do you expect with a 3-year old?
Regardless, we have made it back to Japan and we are all in one piece....well, relatively speaking.

As anyone who knows me, or anyone that knows I am here in Japan...knows I have been ready to visit home for, well lets be honest...9 months.  Approximately the duration I have been here.
Not that I think Japan is a bad place to live, but simply put - - -
I miss my other life.

I guess you don't really realize how much you like, or love, something until you set it free - as the old saying goes. Which honestly until now - I thought was a load of hooey!  But I am now a FIRM believer in this little saying.
As from a previous post - you can tell that I was bewildered by all I had forgotten in America.  Everything from fast food (which here has a totally different meaning) to the wonders of a normal grocery store.  I caught myself driving on the wrong side of a parking lot once while in the US too.  Luckily, it was only a parking lot.  Speaking of that - I had forgotten how much SPACE there are in parking lots in America.  I know that sounds like - "Hey Yo, Jessica Simpson - what in the hell are you talking about."  But I am serious.  Parking here in Japan is like the scene from Austin Powers where he is trying to turn the golf cart around in that little hallway...slowly back, turn 1/2 an inch, change gears, forward. STOP! turn 1/2 an inch, change gears, reverse, STOP!  and on and on and on.  Seriously, I was so happy to actually TURN into a parking space, Stop and GET OUT OF THE CAR ON THE FIRST TRY!  When I got out of the car I had to stand back and make sure I wasn't taking up two spaces.

I also cannot express the elation while seeing some of my friends.  There were a few dinners to be remembered, a few cocktails that were LONG overdue and a few old stories that ALWAYS get brought up!  The feeling of warmth that spread over me was glorious.  Like an old T-shirt that you've had for years and every time you put it on...it fits you perfect.  Or maybe the warmth was all the cocktails???  Either way - cheers to all of you who made my trip everything I had hoped it would be!

And as with almost every trip I take, I ended up having to buy a new suitcase.  Usually it is because I buy too many things and they won't all fit into the luggage I brought.  But this time it was a truly warranted purchase...all the zippers on my biggest piece of luggage had somehow all broken.  And I mean BROKEN.  The only way for me to get them open and closed was to use a coat hanger...remember like back in the 80s when you'd wear the skin tight jeans and the only way to get them zipped was to lay on the bed and have your best friend stand at the other side of the bed and pull the zipper closed with a coat hanger???  Yes, the zippers were broken and probably for just that reason - trying to stuff that baby full and then zip it when it was    over capacity at is was!!!  But that led me to shopping, which led me to all the lovely stores I have so adoringly missed.  Which lead me to filling all remaining suitcases to coat hanger zipping capacity AGAIN!...even the broken one.  And yes, I brought it back to Japan because I had too much stuff to fit into the new one!!!
Don't you know my husband loves me for dragging that damn broken suitcase BACK ACROSS THE WORLD!  (love you honey!)

But alas, now I am back in Asia, and everything is exactly how it was when I left.  Which is actually a good thing.  God forbid ANYTHING had changed...then I would have had to start all over and re-learn everything I have already learned!  I think that might have led to a SERIOUS high-speed-come-apart!!!!

My son is happy to be back at school, his friends gave him the welcome of a King back from a long journey! His teacher said they argued over who was going to get to play with him first!!!
Which filled my heart...sad and a little evil, I know.

All in all, even the 24 hour trek to get home, as much as it completely takes its toll, is always going to be worth it.  The memories of watching my son get sick from the turbulence at 35,000 feet, the rude stewardesses (hey lady-not my fault you chose this job!), the crappy wine they serve, the jealousy that I am not the one in 'business class' snoozing away with a sleep mask, and the back and shoulder pains that last WEEKS after the trip...ALL WORTH IT, just to get to see a little bit of home!
Even if this one trip happens to be the only one I get until its actually time to move home - - - it was worth every cramped moment of the trip.

The day before we left my husband asked me if I was actually going to go back with him to Japan...I smiled half-heartedly and said Yes.  I mean what is 18 months to sacrifice for a lifetime of happiness? RIGHT?
(plus he said he would handcuff my son to him and swallow the key - if I didn't agree to come back! - SO...here I am!)

xoxo
Deeds

Rockin' America

I will start this by saying:
I LOVE AMERICA - I LOVE AMERICA - I L-O-V-E  AMERICA!
Now with that said, I continue.

If it is not obvious by the statements above, let me tell you - I have made it back to the States for a much needed visit!
Even though our trip started a little bumpy (Mom was stopped in the Tokyo Airport by security for having not one, but TWO pair of scissors in her carry-on!)  They took her aside and took down her passport number and all her informtaion.  It was a nice way to start a 24 hour journey.
But - we got all of the drama out of the way in the beginning and the rest of the trip was pretty much a breeze.
Well, I take that back - I forgot (conveniently) that I had one of the worst allergy attacks I've had since I was a kid.  That made for a lovely and pleasant trip at 35,000 feet!  But I was willing to endure anything to get home.

Safely at home and spending most of a full week suffering from jet-lag, I happened to be up one morning at 5:30 am and decided to wander into the closest Walgreens... I thought I had died and gone to heaven!
I know I looked like a big ole drugged out dork. Why, you ask?
I had on some crazy version of sweat pants and a T-shirt, hair all pulled up on the top of my head, no make-up and I was on about day 3 of filling myself full of Zyrtec and Benadryl to make the allergies go away.
Plus when I walked in, I got to about the middle of the store and just stopped.  Standing there looking around in COMPLETE awe at all the things that I can't buy in Japan!!!!!!!!

It made me realize how many uneeded and usless things I take for granted:
The 12 pack of utility scissors that you don't need but will buy anyway because it is such a good deal -in the clearance bin, only $5.  The 30 diffferent brands of soft drinks, vitamins that I'll never take but with labels I can actually read, the random isle of junk that lets you know what season we are in, trash mags  for only $3.95 (Japan price - $15), Wet & Wild .99cent trashy make-up in EVERY color and last but not least - - two-ply toilet paper!!!!And the list could go on and on and on.

So I stood there - taking it all in, enjoying the weird smell of cleaner and disenfectant mixed with air freshner someone had probably sprayed trying to figure out if they liked the smell enough to buy it.
But - I loved it!  I loved every weird minute of it.

If there is such a thing as heaven...I would have sworn that morning that I had found it. 
and I won't even tell you what I probably looked like when I walked into the Harris Teeter Grocery Store...


I'm enjoying the scenery,
Deeds

Disney Sea

I have thought and thought about how to approach this without sounding like a terrible Mother...but there really is just no way to do it.  So here it goes...
I HATED DISNEY SEA!
There.  I said it.  I meant it.  And that is just the way that it is.

Now don't get me wrong - I absolutely LOVED seeing the wonder in my sons eyes when he met Goofy, Dale (of Chip-n-Dale fame), and some of the other Disney characters.  And I also was delighted in the fact that he REALLY wants to ride roller coasters (the adult coasters - not the little kiddie stuff!), but I will tell you with all honesty...the day was TERRIBLE for me!  Never-ending!

I know, I know, it is "all about the kids" ~ well yes, it is.  But how can the kids be happy when the Mommy isn't happy?  Very easily...as I found out!

So the story goes ~
 My husband has ALWAYS loved the theme parks.  When we got married I was informed that he and my two step-sons had traipsed  around the country going to ALL the big theme parks.  Well, it never really donned on me that one day - that would be part of my world.
My Mother-in-law was in Japan visiting, along with my niece and nephew.  So we decided to go to Disney Sea for the kids.  I mean, how many kids can say they went to Disneyland in TOKYO - of all places??!! Right?

So we decided on the Friday BEFORE the big holiday week here.  Two of the other couples from the USA had decided that they were going to take their kids too.  So off we go...

Friday morning.  Everybody up at 7am to get ready, eat, get toys, bags, the right shoes, sunscreen, cameras, money, maps, bus/train passes, sunglasses and every other oddity that, at the time, seemed a good idea to lug to Disneyland.
We meet at the neighbors house at 8:30am.  7 adults, 6 kids.  We all take the bus to the train station.  At Yokohama Station (this is a pretty big train station) we all follow D through a maze of ups and downs, escalators and elevators to get to the "Disney" bus stop.  They have a bus that leaves every 30 minutes - all day long- and only goes back and forth to Disney!  That part - was great!  The bus looked like a Greyhound Bus - but without the caked on grime and stinky smell.
So now - a 90 minute bus ride! Everyone was well behaved and some even took naps.  Mind you - all the kids are between 2 and 4 years old...with exception of one, eleven-year-old.  So far so good.

We are dropped off at the entrance to Disney Sea.  By now it is probably 85 degrees and its 11am.
~~~For the record, we had all done a little asking around and we were told that Disney Sea would be better than Disneyland proper.  Because: "Disney Sea has water and everything is oriented to water, so it'll be MUCH cooler than regular Disneyland."  Liars.  All of you, liars! ~~~~

We enter this very large slab of concrete to find all of the Disney characters awaiting our arrival.  First thing I thought was, my word - I KNOW that person in the suit is hating his life right now in this dreadful heat, with all these kids pawing at him.
But they were very cute and the kids were mesmerized.  Photos taken, kids happy.
(at this point we separate from the other two families.  I think since my husband's family are all pros at this amusement park thing - we were just faster at getting done.  - ie., Here meet Goofy, stand still, snap.  Next kid. Here meet Dale, stand still, smile, snap.  Look there's Mickey, he has too many friends right now - wave, blow him a kiss, we'll see him later. Let's go., etc, etc.)
Off again.
First we come to the lake.  I think, wow, actually some water.  But its gated and cordoned off so there is no chance of getting anywhere near anything that is wet.
People are starting to gather around the lake - my assumption, that a water show was starting soon.  So we decide to go towards the back of the park since everyone seemed to congregate at the entrance to figure out what they were doing and what direction to go...basically what we were doing!

The pirate ship was our first stop.
It was big, hot, with wheels and ropes. VERY uneventful.  Next, we go into The Castle. Once again, big, hot, but with LOTS of stairs. Even though the inside was cool-er, what it lacked in hot temperature - it made up for with the stairs.  Great.

We needed to ride something quick for the kids.  We rode something that resembled a bug and that went up and down and in a circle.  10 minute wait - but the breeze during the ride, made it ok. By this point it had to be 95 degrees.
Off to find drinks and another ride. We are all covered in sweat by now and we haven't even started. Next, the kiddie roller coaster, which had a 20 minute wait.  Meanwhile my son has decided to tell me that he doesn't feel good.  Lovely.
After the coaster, we decided it was time to find food and somewhere to sit.
I never thought I'd say it but Mermaid Lagoon was my savior!...
an all indoor amusement area for kids!  WHY HASN'T SOMEONE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE? An "indoor" theme park?  Fantastic!

So we stand in line, order food, find a table - and enjoy the lovely A/C.
BTW - the menu gave the choice of a fish sandwich, fries, popcorn shrimp or sausage pizza (with corn). - Most all pizza here in Japan has some form of 'corn' on it. Weird.

Everyone's almost finished and my husband looks at me, with that "I'm going to say something you're not going to like" look. He has decided this is the time that he and his nephew go ride the 'big roller coasters'. I know it was a ploy just to get away for a bit.
So me and my mother-in-law and remaining kids ride the spinning tea-cups (20 minute wait) and then go get in line for the jelly fish ride.  20 minutes later - we are sitting in this psychedelic thing resembling a jellyfish that goes up and down SLOWLY, and that's it.  THAT'S IT. That's all it does. Even my 3 year old was unimpressed!
My husband shows back up, and a few souvenirs later - we are back out in the blazing heat.
Now we find ourselves in the Arabian Coast.  With the heat - it felt more like the Arabian Desert. I felt like I was FRYING.
A two-story carousel, a stop for six cokes, a fall off a ledge, crying, pouting and finally to Aladdin's water ride. This was pretty trippy.  You got in a boat, and rode through the 'storyland'  - it had elephants, monkeys, ninjas, good guys, bad guys, treasure, and a genie that was the size of a house.  Very creepy.  And all the singing and talking was in Japanese. So I had NO IDEA what was being said. All the while making sure my son didn't fall out of the boat in the dark!

The piece-de-resistance was the 80 minute wait for a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride that my husband talked me into...
It'll be fun, all the kids can ride it too,  it looks cool, we need to ride something for us big kids, etc, etc.
It was a TERRIBLE ride - 6 of us crammed into this metal thing that was supposed to look like a small submarine, with windows on each side and the entire ride was in the dark.  The illusion was supposed to be 'underwater' with fish, people and aliens.  It scared both little kids.  My niece ended up having nightmares.
I was SO frustrated when we left there.  80 minutes of my life  - I WILL NEVER GET BACK. My mother-in-law, who never says anything bad - even piped up to say what a waste of 80 minutes.
Amen sister!

So by now, I've had it.  The kids are tired, we are all hot, sweaty, and disappointed. More than anyone - it is my husband that I had to convince it was time to leave!!! A few dirty looks and choice remarks later - he realized it was time we start making our way OUT!
Stops for ice cream, T-shirts, Cokes, a Mickey Mouse music baton, a Tinkerbell spritzing fan, and a Cowboy Mickey Mouse popcorn bucket later...we FINALLY made it to the gate! Then two hours on a bus to get us back to the first train station.
On the way we decided that my mother-in-law and I would take the kids on ahead IN A CAB to the house and let my husband stop by McDonald's to pick up a quick, late dinner, so that we could start getting the kids ready for bed.  Taking the cab was supposed to make it all quicker! As the cab pulled away - we realized my husband still had the house keys!  Brilliant.

Sitting on the porch, worn out, waiting for my husband to get home - my son and his cousin are chasing the oldest cousin and they run directly into each other. Fall, skid on the concrete and both begin to WAIL.  Blood, tears, and screams filled my neighborhood.
And so was the end to my perfect day...in amusement park hell!


Deeds
side note:   since this fateful day, my husband has decided that from here on out, through the rest of our son's life - when they go to the amusement parks - I get to go and stay at the hotel while spending my "theme park time" at the pool  and the spa. 
I have smartly agreed - it'll be best for all involved!

Rebel Without a Cause

Well, I have done it again...
Gotten myself kicked out of a perfectly respectable place!


It all started with my friend J (full names have been politely omitted for privacy sake!).  J mentioned she wanted to go to an Onsen (a traditional Japanese bathhouse) - just to see what it  was like.  


J, like me, is a newbie to the expat lifestyle here in Japan.  So we are both constantly looking for a new and exciting experience here.  We briefly talked it over, decided we were a little intimidated, emailed a few times about a good date and time, a phone call for good measure and then decided no more lolly-gagging, it was time.




So here we go, on a rainy afternoon to a seven story Onsen called the Manyo Club.  We enter, head to the 7th floor, as that is where the main staging takes place. 
We walked to the counter , which was VERY busy I might add (about 5 cashiers taking money), and you pay your entry fee. 2720 Yen.  That gets you your kimono robe (or two piece pajama style - if you choose).  You also get to choose your color and design...mostly exotic floral prints.
Since we had no clue what we were doing, they gave us a map, a key to a locker, a set of "rules", a card to get our kimono, told us of the different massages that you had to make reservations for, and pointed us in the right direction.


We walk to the gate, take off our shoes, put them in a given bag and head for the changing room.  
Well, that's where it all started to get a little twitchy.
We walk through the "curtain" that is the door to the ladies area and BAM - naked Japanese women EVERYWHERE!
Now don't get me wrong, I am not shy of the human body - in the past it has usually been me that has been naked, and I am not easily embarrassed - but after 4 months dealing with the culture shock of how completely shy and reserved the Japanese are as a whole...I was almost knocked off my rocker by so many naked people.  And they were looking at me like I was the naked one!


So, J and I start through the locker-esque type room, taking it all in.  There was the Lotion Stand that had various types of body, hand and face creams.  Then there was the Finishing Area - complete with individual sinks, sitting stools, blow dryers,  mirrors - basically a row of individual little vanities.  Then through the maze that was to become the lockers.
After a bit of looking - we had two top lockers.  Perfect.


We start to undress and we had a good laugh as we both tried to remember which way we were supposed to put our robes on.  Apparently you are supposed to put the right side in, closest to your chest, and the left side layers over the right.  She said she thought it meant that if you laid the folds wrong - you were gay! I laughed out loud. - I thought she was serious.  VERY gullible me! 
She came to decide that they bury you in a robe - and the folds go the other way!  I was laughing with tears at this point.
Meanwhile, Japanese women of all ages were scurrying around us - all in some form of undress.


Now - Robes properly on (we hope) and off we go to explore the 7 floors of the unknown.
First, we follow the masses of undressed women towards a sliding glass door.  Before they go through - they are exchanging their small white towel for an even SMALLER white towel. Through the doors there are baskets of small items individually wrapped...hair brushes, toothbrushes, and razors...that most women are picking up on their way in.
Turn the corner and wa-la~
the BATH-room!!!
I didn't think there could be more naked women in one place than there were in the locker room - but boy was I wrong.  There were more of the individual mirrored vanity type stalls  with stools and movable shower handles, equipped with shampoo, soap, and the usual shower items.  After passing that we came to the sauna area, and then the big communal bath.
The area itself was very well decorated and very serene (much more so had I been able to block out all the naked Japanese women getting in and out).
There was a glass wall and a half moon shaped bath and a door that lead to the outside area that had another bath and a bunch of very long benches with women sprawled all over them.


Now that we had seen that area (mind we still are fully robed - and looking REALLY out of place), we head off to the other floors and find:

• a cafeteria style eatery that served fish, seafood, rice and typical Japanese fare. Also serving beer!
• several 'relaxation rooms' that had lazy-boy type chairs with TVs attached and very dim lights.
• healing rooms - they use different colors of light to let you sit and absorb the 'vibe'
• and finally - the massage room

J and I had decided that we would opt for a 'regular' massage...little did we know what lay ahead!

The massage room ended up being just that - a massage ROOM...with lots of people getting a massage at the same time.  My masseuse was a man and J's a woman.

40 minutes - 4000 yen. ($40)

I love a good massage but he poked and elbowed me in places that I didn't even know could be poked or elbowed! He twisted my legs into positions that might make my husband blush...and then he after he got me all twisted - decided he was going to stick his elbow in my butt muscle!  At one point he even did the karate chop hands (you know what I'm talking about) - yes, and he karate chopped my HEAD!  

After 40 minutes of concentrating on just breathing and not screaming in pain...I found out that J had it worse than I did.  I believe J said, "I broke into a sweat just trying not to scream out."... J has the lovely UK accent, so I believe those were her words - but I was laughing so hard it was difficult to make it all out!

Here we are hobbling out of the "massage" room - and we decide it best we go get into a hot bath to ward off any of the impending pain we are surely to have after the beating we have just endured.

So we head back to the naked masses.  We are trying to do what all the other women are doing so we get back to our lockers, half-heartedly glance at each other and off with the robes!

We both have a towel so we wrap what parts we can in the towel and head for the sliding glass door.  As we get to the door a Japanese woman who apparently worked there told us, well, she pointed and spoke words we didn't understand, that we had to change our BIG towel for an even SMALLER towel - before we go into the bath area!

Just to give an idea of towel size here~

the original, BIG towel we had was no bigger than a kitchen dish towel.  The one we had to change for was about the size of a long wash rag!

So needless to say - you picked the one part you most wanted covered and just held the rag there!

We stand there naked, deciding if we are supposed to shower first, or after the bath.  THIS IS WHERE I THINK MY COVER GOT BLOWN!  After looking TOTALLY out of place -We decided to go to the bath first!

We hop in a long, 3 person lay-down bath tub that has bars separating each person. We start swapping details of the beating we have just taken in the massage room, while naked Japanese women are wandering around everywhere.

After about 10 minutes, a small Japanese woman comes to us, in full Kimono dress and quietly bends down and asks me if I have "ink".

Yes, I say.  She smiles and immediately puts her hands up and makes a gigantic X with her arms.  In very broken English - she says..."you have, get out."

J thinks that she is telling us to get out of the bath, that we have been hogging the bathtub!  I smile and nod to the young woman - and turn to tell J - I have to get out.  She still isn't comprehending what is happening!

J is ready to move on and deciding what floor we are going to next.

Meanwhile the young Japanese woman is hovering around the bend waiting to see what I do.  Then she disappears, so I explain to J what is happening and then I decide that I am going to go ahead and shower and I'll wait on her outside when I am done.  

From the time it takes me to explain things to J, get my 'washrag' and walk to the shower area - I turn to sit in my little stall, and now...there are TWO Japanese women in Kimonos standing behind me.  They are both smiling and the newest one - is trying to explain to me again what is going on.

Our conversation:

"You have ink?  Tattoo?"

Me:  "Yes."

Arms in a full X again followed by:  "How do you say...get out!?!"

Me:  "I am showering and then I will leave."

"No. No. You have rule broken. No tattoo in area. How do you say in English?...get out."

Me:  "No shower?"

She is smiling the entire time ~ "No.  Please go away."

Meanwhile the original ouster is trying not to be obvious as she is blatantly staring at my tattoo!  Now keep in mind -I am COMPLETELY naked and I have a very small 'towel' covering my hoo-ha, I have a brush, razor and toothbrush in the other hand...the entire time this is all happening! Oh, and both women are much shorter than me so they both stand about  boob-level!
Lovely visual, I know!

The issue with the "ink" - 
Here in Japan, tattoos have always been associated with the Yakuza...the Japanese mafia!
Who knew that there could be BLONDE, AMERICAN Yakuza!  

So I gave up trying to explain and went back to tell J that I was being kicked out...all the way out!

I gathered my teeny-tiny towel and headed back for the locker room.  So now not only am I hobbling a little from the 'massage' - but I am wet and not bathed after spending time in a bathtub full of other naked women.

Once outside the locker rooms and fully clothed, no one out there seemed to have any idea what had happened. So I sat patiently and waited for J, all the while watching in awe the amount of people that are rolling in and out of there.

In the beginning, J and I had decided we were going to eat at the Onsen once we were finished with it all, to just go through the motions and get the FULL experience - but seeing as I was no longer welcome because I was possibly associated with the mob...we decided to look elsewhere for nourishment.

In the long run we had a good laugh, stayed out late, ended up eating at a fabulous Italian Restaurant that overlooked the Bay, had two bottles of wine and chalked it all up to experience!

Unfortunately I am still looking for somewhere to get a massage that will let the Yakuza in!!!!

(sidenote: my friend JB who is in the States asked what the Onsen was.  After I told her she said..."Eww, sounds dirty!" - yes, she's a germ-o-phobe) and yes JB - I felt dirty after having the "bath" and not getting to shower.  So - yes, you win that arguement!

Love, from Japan

The Wine Bus

A sight to behold as you walk to the drugstore...a school bus parked on the sidewalk.
(which by the way, the drugstore is named HAC.  No periods in between.  No meaning behind the letters.  Just HAC.)  I find it quite funny!

SO...
What is seemingly a school bus, mind you - a short school bus - but a school bus none-the-less.  As you come to the corner, you wonder what is a school bus doing parked on the main sidewalk, right beside the drugstore.  Right beside a restaurant. Right across from a convenience store. On the same block as KFC & McDonald's.  Right in the main area of the this bustling little town.
Well, with a little more investigation I have found that it is something that Tennessee could use.  Actually this would probably fit very well over in East Nashville!
It is A WINE BUS!!!!!  No kidding.  No jokes.

This bus serves wine out the front and fresh vegetables out the back!
WHAT A CONCEPT! 
I mean - who wouldn't eat more veggies if you could get a glass of wine to sip while you're perusing the daily selection???  I know I would!


The back door gets opened and the little sun tent put out.  Fresh veggies abound!  This is where the little farmer's market takes place.  The front door (that on a normal school bus allows children to enter) - is the service bar for the wine!  The prices are written on the window and the wine selection is clearly laid out for you to see...in the windshield area!

A glass of wine is usually 300-500 YEN ($3-5 USD).  I have not figured out yet if you can purchase the whole bottle at once.  THAT is another day to be had at the veggie stand!

I have thought this over and someone needs to try this in the States!  It is BRILLIANT.  Think how many vegetables you could sell.  How many more people would eat healthy.  I mean really, the wine has grapes in it...that counts too, right?

I figure the only problem with doing this in the States is that some "group" would have a freak out and say that it is promoting drinking to school kids and that it is 'immoral' - - maybe so.
But The Wine Bus is a good idea!

Kudos Japan!
No wonder everyone on my block is always in a good mood!

Bottoms Up & Cheers~
Dee Dee