Two YEARS Later...

March 13, 2013

Well, it has taken me two years to be able to write the ending to this blog. Several friends have asked WHY?  Why aren't you writing about what has happened? Why aren't you sharing?
Honestly, every time I would attempt to go back to those days and to that time...my heart and soul wouldn't let me.  For some reason I needed all this time to be away from it.  To make sure I was taking in everything that was happening in the here and now.  To appreciate.  To absorb and to not take for granted.

Every time I tried to go back to that - I couldn't.  I have only now, in 2013, been able to go back and read the entries from those days after the earthquake. 
Reading it all, I still cry like it was the day it happened.  I still feel the ground under me shake. I still know the terror that enveloped me when I was racing for my son. The uncertainty and hollow feeling, wondering if my husband was safe.  The sheer magnitude of it all...still makes me very uneasy.

Something strange washed over me today.  I realized that I am a different person now.  That day forever changed me.  Changed my inner self.  Changed my outer ways. Changed the way I look at life. The way I look at my family and friends...My husband.  My son.
Yes, I am still basically the same - but - very different.
I am happy about that.

This is what I have to say about the rest:


Two years ago today - we arrived back in the States after the scariest event of our lives.
Two years ago today - I have never been so happy to see the inside of a dirty American airport.
Two years ago today - I realized I may never see my friend Cindy again.
Two years ago today - I walked on Venice Beach at sunset with my husband and my son. Ate Italian at a beach cafe while a ram-shackled band played off in the distance on the beach.
Two years ago today - I wanted to be with my Mom.
Two years ago today - I wondered how this catastrophic event would impact my son.
Two years ago today - I passed out from exhaustion in a hotel in Los Angeles, while my husband and son watched mindless cartoons.
Two years ago today - I started answering the never ending questions from my son about how come we can not go back to Japan.
Two years ago today - the beginning of the end of our expat journey started .

So today, two years later, I wonder what life is like there now.  I see posts on FB from friends I met, but I wonder what it is REALLY like.  The day to day.  Do I want to go back...NO.  I do wish I had delved in more while I was there.  Even though, with a three year old and no Japanese speaking skills...I don't know how that would have been possible.


Now that he is six, my son understands that he lived there. Says he remembers the day and the earthquake - not so sure.   I know he remembers a little about the house we lived in.  He remembers learning to ride his bike in that house.  But not much else. He remembers his first real friend - Aiden.  He says he misses him and wishes to go to Australia to see him one day.  Maybe they will actually remember each other.

As for me...
I am so gratelful to be here. To be settled in what I consider to be "home". I know that my husband will have to go back in the future. That is part of his job and that is part of our life. I don't know if I will ever go back. As beautiful as the gardens are. As gentle as the people are...I believe my time in the Orient is forever over. 

Two years later - this will be the last entry to this blog.  I now have the courage to put an end to this chapter of my life.  The courage to come to terms with what we were divinely blessed to live through. 

God-Speed,
Deeds



**I will print this blog as a book and save it for my son when he is older.  I think reading this will help to really understand what he lived through.  What he experienced at such a young age, good and bad.  For him to understand that he was one of the blessed ones who actually made it home that day. 



 

The Earthquake

***let me preface this entry by saying that my family and I are back in the United States and thanking the powers-that-be for getting us home safely.  It has been 6 days and feels like it has been 100.

Friday, March 11, 2011
It started out like any other day...
Took my son to school, came home, checked emails and started my day.  A friend called and asked if I wanted to go walk and run some errands - so off we go.
We ended up on top of the hill behind our neighborhood that looks out over the Bay.  We started talking about how close we are living to the water and what chance would we have if we had a quake and tsunami...would we make it up to the top and would it be high enough.  Conversations continued about emergency back-packs and such and she informed me that she had one and had just replaced the waters in it so they were fresh.  I told her I didn't have an emergency pack and that even though we'd been living there a year and through all the little quakes (7 since I had been there) - that it would probably be in my best interest to pack one...just in case the big one that they had been predicting for 10 years - just happened to come before we our assignment was up.
We had lunch and called it a day. 

On this particular day I had decided to leave my son at school for an extra hour so that he could play with his two best friends.  At 2:45 pm I started the ritual of finding my car keys, sunglasses and coat to go get him. 
I was standing in the kitchen and the house started to move...another little one I thought. (Funny to me how I had started refering to the quakes as 'little ones' - almost like I was getting use to them)
The house started to creak, almost like it was 'settling' in cold weather, or like the sounds you hear thinking someone is coming down your stairs in the middle of the night.  The house started to slowly sway the way it always had during every other quake I had to date been privy to.  My thought was, "you know, I have been inside the house during every one of these - I think I'll go outside and see what it looks like to watch the trees sway."
No sooner than I walked out on the porch - the bottom dropped out. 

The ground started shaking violently.  The car was moving back and forth like someone was trying to push it on its side.  The bicycle fell to the ground. The front door slammed shut.  And I was having a hard time just standing up.
There is a house being built across the street and the two Japanese  construction guys were standing there looking at me - me looking at them.  One looked at me like "What the hell?" - almost like I had done this.  I was thinking hey guy...YOU live here,not me...YOU tell ME what the hell is happening.

I walked, well stumbled, best I could to the middle of the street to get away from the house and car.  I crouched down and watched as the rest of the neighbors started running out into the street.  This lasted for a full minute at least.  A minute is not long, until the earth under you is shaking so hard, it is hard to HEAR.
As everything slowly started to stop...My first thought:  MY SON.  Oh dear Jesus.  Please let him be okay.
I took off running.

His school is only about a mile away, and as I ran - somewhere I realized I was seeing that the entire world aroung me had stopped.
The cars in the streets.  The people had all come outside of the buidlings and houses and were standing on the sidewalks. The traffic lights had all gone black.  No birds chirping.  Everything had just STOPPED.  Except me of course.  Here I am running while the ground is still shaking...
I can only imagine how crazy I must have looked to all the Japanese.  Everything they tell you is to stop and take cover during something like this.  I, the crazy white lady,  am running down the street.

When I finally rounded the hill in the neighborhood where my son's school is - I started crying...there he stood.  Outside his schoool with his two best friends and three of his teachers.  I ran some more.
They let him go and he ran to me.  As is picked him up he hugged me and said, "Mommy we just had an earthquake!"  He wiggled out of my arms and stood up and did this little wiggly-shaky dance..."it was shaking all around like this Mommy." 
He stopped and goes, "Wait.  Why are you crying Mommy?"
aaahhh.  He was completely unphased.

We walked home.  Talked about what happened at school.  Dodged cars at traffic lights that were no longer working.  I fielded questions about how come we were walking across the street when the little man in the walk signal was no longer there or flashing telling us it was all clear.  While I am Thanking my lucky stars the little guy is unharmed and seemingly unaltered by it all.

Then - I walked in my house.
It never crossed my mind that something might be happening to my house during all this.  It never crossed my mind what might have happened to ME if I had not had the silly little thought to go out and 'watch the trees sway'.  Looking back - I sort of went blank.

The house looked like someone had ransacked and robbed the place.  When we opened the door the pictures in the entryway were all sideways.  Stuff was strewn in front of the door.  The living room had plants thrown in the floor, candle sticks knocked over and broken, vases in the floor, art had shaken off the walls.  All the little decor knick-knacks were in the floor, souvenirs from all the places we had been were in the floor in pieces.  The 3 sided floor mirror - face down in the dining room.  The kitchen - every drawer and cabinet were open.  Things were out of the cabinets, stuff in the floor, and luckily...the few bottles of wine we had sitting on the cabinet had only shaken their way to the EDGE of the cabinet...they never made it to the floor!!!!  Yes, someone knew I would need those later!!!

The upstairs wasn't as bad.  Well, everywhere but our room.  The TV had fallen off the dresser, the big mirror was on the floor, my dressing table and all contents...EVERYWHERE.  It looked like a perfume bandit had taken each one out, smelled them and then randomly tossed them around the room. 
I found my cell phone, grabbed our coats and some water bottles and headed back outside to the street. 

It was TWO HOURS before I finally made contact with my husband.  All power, phones, everything - OUT.  Not knowing where he was or if he was ok...was bad.  I think the most frightening thing (besides my son's safety) was the fact that there was no way to know anything.  ANYTHING.  Sirens are going off, people are walking everywhere, all my nieghbors were still out in the streets...
they tell you to stay out of the buildings because of aftershocks...luckily we did.  Two more happened...and they were almost as bad as the quake itself.  
The construction workers had their truck radio on loud...the German lady across the street was translating the broadcast.  Listening for tsunami warnings.  Everything was surreal - the German lady translating the Japanese to us and everyone around was of some other nationality.
During the interim I ran back inside and packed that damn emergency back-pack we had talked about earlier.  Found my crappy little AM/FM Japanese radio (I bought to listen to the military rock channel) -hoping for some sort of news in ENGLISH, grabbed passports, all the extra money we had stashed and tossed it all in the car. I left a note for my husband taped to the door.
We headed for higher ground.

We went to the club where I take my son swimming in the summer.  It is the highest point in our area.  Many of the other expat families were there.  Well, not the families...the mothers and kids.  During this whole ordeal, which lasted about 4 hours - there were NO MEN ANYWHERE.  None.
It was all Mothers and kids, or Mothers trying to find their kids.  It was scary.
All the men were at work.  The phones weren't working and none of us could get in contact to find out if they were ok.  Or find out if they could even make it back to us. We couldn't understand the news about the tsunami because it was all in Japanese.  We were basically helpess.

It took TWO HOURS before I could reach my husband to let him know we were okay and to find out he was unharmed.  It took another FIVE HOURS for him to get home to us.
He works 15 miles away.  FIFTEEN MILES....FIVE HOURS.
The phones (cell phones) worked for 5 mintues, literally, and then were out for the next 8 hours.  We had no power, no phones, no nothing.  Just dead time....waiting.
For our husbands and for another quake.

Finally at dusk, we went home.  I needed to clean up what glass and broken things I could before it got too dark.  I needed to find the candles, find the flashlights.  I needed to make it safe for my son to even be in the house.
After all the glass was cleaned, and paths were made to walk...
I settled my son in to watch his DVD player (Thank God I remembered to charge the battery the night before) and I had a MUCH needed glasss of wine...
and we sat and waited for my husband.

He arrived after 9pm.  The earthquake was at 2:26pm.
Trying to get home to us he had been in a co-workers car, then walked (because he could walk faster than the cars were moving) and then in a taxi.  All trains and buses had been shut down. 

After the heartswell we had when we were all together again, we cleaned a little more, had another glass of wine and reluctantly decided to try and sleep.
Precaution lead us to take the picture off the wall over our bed and our son slept with us that night.  It was not a restful sleep...afteshocks were coming about every 30 minutes.

I was scared, freaked out and worn out.
Deeds

***DAY 2 will be posted as soon as I can.
This was all I could stomach to remember in one sitting.  I am still comparmentalizing and a little in denial.  I am trying to deal one day at a time.

This is an areial shot of a crack from the earthquake...
these are not weeds...these are full grown TREES around the crack. 
Just to give you some perspective.

Driving

It took a long time, but as you probably can tell...I DID get my driver's license.

A few things that made it painstaking:
Everything about the Japanese driver system is still rooted in the 1950s:

• the building (which is way out in B.F.E.)- over an hour just to get there.
• the SCAN TRON sheet driver test
• the classroom where you take the test (only seats about 10 people - tightly)
• the eye test machine
• the cardboard box with the bell in it that rings when you put your application in (just so they know that someone is actually out there)
• and the FOUR hours it usually takes to have the test given and graded. 

and the list could go on.  But regardless of all this, I finally got my license.  Well, by default actually.
After taking the test twice - I almost gave up.
The test consisted of 10 questions, True and False.  Easy right?...um, NO.
They are trick questions.  If ONE WORD in the sentence is wrong...you are wrong.
Then if you miss 4 questions - you fail.  If you fail, they DO NOT tell you what you got wrong.  They DO NOT let you see your Scan-Tron.  They DO NOT help you - IN ANY WAY.
They let you take the test as many times as you want...but you have to come back on a different day every time and it is about $30 each time you take the test.  And if they decide that they don't want you to pass...you never will.  NO MATTER WHAT.
Lovely.

At the end of my rope - I finally told my husband to ask his company about me having a "International License"...if that would cover me on the insurance. No test, just my U.S. license and a paper from the U.S. saying 'International Driver's License.'
Well, sure-as-hell...they said it was fine.  All that trouble and time - FOR NOTHING.  Dammit.
But it will make for a good story for the rest of my driving life.

So - jump to present day...
The hubby comes home last week and informs me that he needs to take the car to work for its 6 month check-up.  I reluctantly agree to ride my bike again for a day and give up the keys.

Now you might wonder, how come we have a car and my husband doesn't use it to drive to work everyday???
It takes him one hour and 30 minutes to get to work via a bus, then two or three train changes.  A pain is the a$$, I know.
But he kept telling me it takes longer to drive than to take the trains.  I thought - yeah whatever big guy...I would be driving!


So he takes the car for the check-up.  It takes him almost two hours to get to work - in traffic at 7:30 am.
He gets home that night and tells me that he made it home in only ONE hour!
'Wow," I said, "Maybe you should start driving to work" - and then thought better of it because I would have no car anymore.  Luckily he said "nah, takes too long."


The rest of our conversation went like this:

ME:  Why after a full year, when I tell someone you work in Zama (a little town)- every time they go "ooooh"?              So how far away is Zama actually???
HIM:  15 miles.
ME:   Wait. What? 15 miles?
HIM:  Yep.
ME:  and it takes almost TWO HOURS to get there and back EVERYDAY.
HIM:  Yep.
ME:  and even in the car it takes longer to get there?  15 miles?  nooooo.
HIM:  Yep.

I sat there dumbfounded and speechless. I finally understood.  I finally realized that I could probably throw a rock and hit my husband in the head while he was working but it would take him almost two hours to get back here to ask me why I threw the rock.

No wonder he is ready to go home too!
That 45 minute commute to work in the U.S. has never looked so good.

~as I grab the keys and head out to drive on the wrong side of the road and terrorize the locals  !!!  =-)

Enjoy your day,
Deeds





     

Work Ethic

I was talking to my husband the other day and we ended up discussing his work...which is usually not a topic of conversation between us.  I know, strange since we are living in another country specifically for his job! But he has always been the type person to not bring his work home.  And to be honest - I probably wouldn't understand much of what he was trying to explain, him being a Chemical Engineer and all.

So in discussing his "office" and what happens when he is there 16 hours a day, I found out some things the Japanese do that I had no idea:

At lunch time (12 noon) they turn off all the lights in the building.  For one hour. Most eat at their desks and then sleep.  The hubby says you can walk anywhere in the building and there are people everywhere - dead asleep.

Sitting straight up at their desks and some face down on the desks. But most all are asleep.

At 1pm - the lights come back on and all go back to work.

I have heard from many Expats that nothing really gets 'started' until after lunch.  In the States everyone gets to work at the crack-of-dawn to get a jump on the day and hopefully get out of the office before they get caught in traffic. Here they stroll leisurely in at 9 and leave around 9.  I asked my Japanese tutor about this and she said that is the way it is here.  The men are gone all day and the women like it that way.  The women like to get their daily house duties done and then hopefully - go to lunch with friends and talk.  Then the kids get home from school, and the moms make dinner and take care of the kids and wa-la the day is done.  My tutor said the reason the women like the men to be gone is that when they are home - they get in the way.  

This made me laugh.

Here the work day (for most everyone) doesn't begin until 9 or 10 am.  

Most retail stores and restaurants 11 am. 

When we first moved here we were told that "the Japanese work crazy hours" - and they do.  The professionals and factory workers.  

The retail stores are open from 10 am (most 11am) until around 8pm.  The restaurants stay open until 11 or 12.

After the sun goes down here - there really is not a whole lot to do. There is always Tokyo and clubs - but that has never been my destination for two reasons:

1.  Husband at work (till 10 pm every night) and a four-year-old at home, are not real conducive to a jaunt to Tokyo to party.  

2.  Tokyo is about 45 minutes away (by car) - longer by train. After having a few cocktails, you pretty much  want to change your clothes and fall into bed - and an hour ride just to get home...is not fun.  Especially on the train. Especially with a buzz.

If you have ever had a few drinks and gotten woozy just from a car ride home...the train is much worse.  Granted you don't have to drive or worry about any of that, but the stop and go, the constant clack of the tracks, the side-to-side constant motion of the train...

makes for even a seasoned veteran to have flashes of woozy. I found this out the hard way.

This must happen quite a lot here because I was told that they have a term for this: platform pizza.  I know, its gross.  But, as I stated in an earlier blog, here the drunkness is accepted.  Most believe that if you have had too much to drink - you probably had a very hard and stressful day at work and you deserve to be drunk. I guess if I was working 16 hour days - I'd need a drink too.  

JAPAN'S "LOVE HOTELS"

The words ‘love’ and ‘hotel’ combined usually conjure up romantic images of weekends away, breakfast in bed, walks in the woods, dinner by candlelight with champagne - and whatever else springs to mind - by an open fire. In Japan, however, the resultant image of the same combination of words is somewhat different.


A "LOVE HOTEL" is basically this:  short term hotels throughout Japan where couples meet to have sex in a private and erotic setting.For decades Japan's love hotels have provided a place for couples to enjoy anonymous, uninterrupted sex. Politician and secretary, teacher and student, husband and hooker -- all are welcome, as long as they pay in cash and leave when the time limit is up.

They say that the hotels exist out of necessity...until recently, most people lived with their families until marriage, often with three generations under one roof, separated by only paper screens. Without a private space for the most private of acts.  So they had to find somewhere to do the 'deed'. 
What a terrible thought...having Grams in the next room watching Japanese Wheel of Fortune while trying to 'be sexy'? - umm, NO.

So voila, birth of the Love Hotel!  Everyone knows they exist and it is an accepted practice here. These hotels are typically either concentrated in city districts close to train or subway stations, near highways on the city outskirts, or in industrial districts. Love hotel architecture is sometimes garish, with buildings shaped like castles, boats or UFOs and lit with neon lighting. What wonderful imaginations!

Some more recent love hotels are very ordinary looking buildings, distinguished mainly by having small, covered, or even no windows.

As women gradually came to have more social and financial clout, the hotels re-modeled themselves away from typically male themes such as outer space and cars (haa haa...SO typical male). Porno channels on the TV were out and a ‘come early, stay late’ policy was in.  The newer hotels come complete with karaoke machines, jacuzzis and even swimming pools and most are  hilariously decorated. Some love-hotels boast sun-beds for those who like to top off their tan while doing the duty, or adjoining ‘swapping rooms’ for those who prefer to bed hop. Some have CCTV feeds from all the rooms, offering a unique in-house video channel where you can watch others watching you doing what you’re watching them do. A number of hotels provide ‘party rooms’ for groups and even S&M facilities for aficionados.
The stats say the annual turnover of the love hotel industry is more than ¥4 trillion (yen)...that's pushing $5 trillion USD.  A LOT OF MONEY.  But we all know, sex sells!

Some of the fabulous names I have seen on the signs of the Love Hotels around here:
Hotel CHAT
Hotel Rainbow
Carib Hotel
P & A Plaza
Dixy Inn
Hotel Chez Moi
Hotel J-Girl
Hotel Lala
Hotel First Wood  (priceless!)


The rates here are by the hour and rooms are often selected from a panel of buttons and the bill settled by pneumatic tube, automatic cash machines, or a pair of hands behind a pane of frosted glass.


Similar establishments exist in other East Asian countries such as South Korea,Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong. The same concept also exists in Central and South America, particularly in Guatemala, Chile and Mexico (where they are called "autohotels"), in the Dominican Republic and Colombia (where they are called "cabañas" or "motels"), and in Argentina and Uruguay, where they are often called "albergues transitorios" or "telos" (after reversing the syllables of the word "hotel"). They are very common in Brazil and Puerto Rico, where they are simply called "motels" (the word is exclusively used for love hotels).

In the United States and Canada, they are known as "no-tell motels" . Apparently the first love hotel will open in France next summer, in Pontoise, next to Paris!

I guess all the world needs love.  No matter WHERE you have to get it!

Enjoy the photos!

Deeds


the video screens to choose your "room"...

 the sex machine room...

 the Neil Armstrong Room - for all you astronaut wanna-bes!

the Train/Subway Room - in case you don't get 'groped' enough on the real trains!

 The Spiderman Room...swing from chain to chain!

What is this...the Land of the Lost Room???

****and they say Japan is a mild mannered culture!  Someone figured out the wild side!!!

Guam

Over Xmas, we went to Guam.  Since we will be in Japan for 18 months - two years, we only get one trip "home"...we did that in October for family reasons.
So my husband decided that since he's been working for 12 months, around 16 hours a day...that we needed to go somewhere fun and lucky me, Tropical!

Guam became our destination.  A quick five hour flight, sunny, warm, English is the language, shopping is plentiful and the general temperature is 85 degrees (29 C - for all my international friends).

Once we arrived we were whisked away in a lovely, shabby cab.  Complete with hanging pineapple air fresher and some new-fangled rap song emanating from the stereo, obviously from America, that I have not yet had the pleasure of hearing.
The island is very small so we were at the hotel in roughly 10 minutes.  Great!

While doing research on where to stay - we were told by several people here (all expats) that we most definitely had to stay at the Pacific Islands Club.  We were warned that it was a bit 'dated' but since we have a 3 year old..."you gotta stay there, the water park is excellent."

Palm trees and waterfalls, kayak streams and a kiddie park, water slides and wind surfing, trampolines and snorkeling, scuba diving and water animals...this place had everything you could imagine.  My son was in heaven.  Well, my son and my husband were in heaven!
I was just happy to lay by the pool and watch the happiness.
The 30 minute breaks to myself, laying poolside with 100 little kids frolicking all around...were pure heaven.  I never knew that being in the middle of all that chaos - could be so relaxing.  I happily waved from a distance as my son and husband went from water animal to water animal, and water slide to water walk.  It was bliss.

Our schedule went something as follows:
9 am - wake
9:30 - breakfast (in the LARGE buffet style dining room with 600 other people)
10:30 - poolside
1:30 - lunch
2:30 - son naps
5:00 - shower
6:30 - dinner (which was something quite normal and American (ie, burgers, ribs, fish, etc.))
8:00 - roam hotel
9:30 - back to room

One day we ventured to KMART.  Yes, they have a 24 hour Kmart.  This is where everyone stocks up on all the things you can't get here in Japan...the American brands you are used to:
vitamins, shampoos/conditioners, American size clothes (but remember - we are in Kmart- so you have to be desperate), toys, socks, tools...what-have-you.
And of course - the prices are through the roof.

We also ended up being one out of about 15 families (that I saw) who were not Asian.  So we basically had the same idea as all the others...go somewhere warm.
The hotel pool staff was mostly Westerners, they all had on a name tag with their home city on it.  Most were young, early twenties and loving life.  Life guarding by day and partying by night on a little island in the Pacific.  (how come I never thought of that when I was in my 20s???)

But, the rooms were run down...reminded me a little of Three's Company.  The older furniture and the very flat, hard beds.  Bad art on the walls and a 15 inch TV that was probably 20 years old.  The bedspreads - very HoJo, and one night our air conditioner started leaking and made a huge wet spot in the middle of the hallway.  But I will tell you this...
This is the first trip I have ever taken where the room - did not matter.
We were so happy to be in the warm weather, to have my husband with us on a daily basis, to have normal  food at every meal (well, what we consider normal - I know, everything's relative), and a water park that ROCKED!

We much enjoyed Guam.  Its not Hawaii, but it will do just fine!!!!

If you have the chance...try it sometime!

Happy 2011!

Deeds

New Year's Eve

The New Year celebration has always been a big deal in my life.  Well, until I had my son...now I am just boring, and happy to get to sleep BEFORE midnight.
Anyway, here in Japan the New Year Holiday is a very big deal.   Nothing like the  holiday in America where people party their brains out for one night and then Thank God that the year ended before they got the hangover. No here, its a bit different.


While I am quite positive that everyone here drinks, seeing as the liquor store around the corner did not have an empty parking spot for two straight days (around the clock) prior to New Year's Eve, but here in our neighborhood, things were relatively quiet New Year's Eve.


Shogatsu is the celebration of the New Year and is the most important holiday in Japan.  Things in Japan start to close down early on New Year's Eve...restaurants, shops, offices, gas stations, grocery stores...everything...CLOSED.
Omisoka is the day of New Year’s Eve.  Since the New Year is the biggest event in Japan, people celebrate the Eve as well.
Luckily I was warned about the closings a few days prior to NYE.  We stocked up on things we thought we couldn't live without for a few days and we were set.


It is said people work hard to prepare for the New Year.  Starting one or two weeks ahead...doing a full-on CLEAN (like spring cleaning in the States). The reason people do the cleaning in the middle of winter is to get rid of the 'dirty' of the passing year and to welcome the New Year with a fresh and serene mind.  Probably not a bad idea.


At midnight things are pretty quiet.  Not what I am use to.  
Starting precisely at 12 - the temples ring their bells 108 times.   People stay up till midnight to listen to the 108 chimes (notice 'quiet') of a nearby temple bell.  The 108 chimes called Joya-no-kane, this rings out the old year and rings in the New. It is supposed to release people from the 108 worldly sin.  (God knows I need that.)


The temples have been readied beforehand and at midnight they open their doors and let in the masses.  The shrines all over Japan are packed with people from midnight thru to January 3^rd.  People go to pray for safety, happiness and the long lives of the family. Many are dressed in Kimonos and buy a good luck talisman called Omamori. It is kept as a protection from illness, accidents and disasters. After experiencing the "little" earthquakes...I can see why they need the protection!!!


Some of the other traditions:

• Entrances of homes, stores, etc., are decorated with a Shimekezari. These are twisted pieces of straw rope with fern leaves, an orange and other items of good omen.
• A Bonenkai party.  Bonenkai litarelly means a "Forget-the-year party" to forget the unpleasant memories of the passing year and to welcome the New Year with a fresh and serene mind. 
• People give special allowances to their children, nephews and nieces called Otoshidama. It is the busiest season for toy shops to attract children to spend their new found wealth.
• People send a lot of greeting cards to relatives, friends, business acquaintances and customers to wish them a happy New Year. Post offices in Japan collect and keep them then deliver them on the New Year's day all at once.  There is something about a 'lottery' with the cards.  They are all numbered and then some numbers are drawn and the lucky ones get prizes. I don't really know all about it - and since we got no cards...we didn't really research it.

The holiday in general reminds me of Xmas in America.  The shutting down of stores, the weeks of prep, the calm of it all.  Quite nice - but once again, not what we are use to.
All in all in the end - it didn't really matter - 
We had an early dinner out with friends NYE.  I had started to feel a little 'under the weather' and only had a few cocktails trying to stay in the spirit. (huh-oh, now you KNOW something is amiss) I was asleep by 10:30.
January 1- uneventful and illness is gaining. Everything closed.
January 2- illness is winning. everything closed. In my weariness I think it is still Saturday.
January 3 - I Thank God I have made it to Monday...start calling doctors at 8am...EVERYTHING CLOSED.  At this point I am beyond my wits and after calling a friend who tells me that yeah, nothing will be open until TOMORROW...I take off my 'sick clothes' and put on my sick 'outside clothes', throw my English to Japanese dictionary in my purse and   drive myself to the Emergency Room.  
When I pulled up - I thought it was closed too.  All the windows closed.  No cars. Anywhere.
How do you run a hospital with only 10 people working it???  Don't know - but they did it.


I sat in the hospital, the only foreigner, and one of two people who spoke English.  The other guy was working the front desk and in my sickness haze I thought he was a doctor.  At this point I was so happy to see him - I  thought he had a halo.
I walked in - there he was behind the girl behind the 'intake' desk. He had longer hair, a pinstripe shirt, khakis and a red thing around his neck I could have SWORN was a stethoscope. He helped with the forms and then sent me to the 'waiting room' and that was the last I saw of him, his English and his halo.
The waiting room - a hallway with some benches.  Everyone there - in Michael Jackson masks.  All - staring at me.


I was smart enough to take a book.  What I read while waiting a full hour - I have no idea. I heard names being called out - nothing that sounded like Sullivan.  Finally some man (another sicky) takes pity on me and walks over and points to one of the doors.  They had called my name, I never heard them, they never walked down the hall to look for me.


The "doctor" spoke about 10 words of English. I explained my symptoms, he looked in my throat, listened to my 'lungs' (right under my clavicle bones.  apparently my lungs have moved) and he recorded the temperature from the self-serve thermometer I was given while sitting in the hallway.
Yep, you mess it up, not accurate...your problem.


After all this we finally agree on one thing...I have pneumonia.
He has no idea what to prescribe me so I tell him what I want.  The same stuff they gave me the last time I had pneumonia (in the USA).
I got 1/4 the dose of the meds I asked for and he sent me home.


It has been dreaded.  Hurts to walk up the stairs.  Can't breathe. Body hurts.  Etc, Etc, Etc.  You know the drill.
Now today, I feel a little better (not great) and find out my son has Bronchitis...AGAIN.
Dammit.


My husband goes back to work tomorrow.  My mom comes back in country this weekend.  And 2011 is off with a BANG.


The way I am choosing to look at it - 
my year can only get better.  Right?


-I read another blog today and the lady had two kids who got pneumonia one right after the other.  I told her to suck it up sister and thank her lucky stars that it was the kids, that she had strong meds to get them thru it, a doc who knows what's up and a city that is actually functioning.
Actually I sympathized. (but you know that's what part of me really wanted to say).
I think it was the steroid, amoxicillan, benadryl, sudafed, nasal spray, vaseline, cough drop, chapstick delirium talking.


Maybe I need to do the 'full-on-clean' and get rid of the 'dirty'???
Maybe they are on to something. hmmm.


Here's to the ' lucky' Year of the Rabbit~
Deeds


***this is merely meant for everyone to see the humor in the ridiculous...which does happen.  And apparently, more to me than most!!  :-) 
I mean isn't that what this blog is all about!
Cheers.


UPDATE:
after my 3 days of antibiotics from the ER.  I started going downhill again, quickly!  I went to my previous doctor and got more antibiotics.
I found out that the meds the ER had given was only 1/4 the strength recommended for an average adult, and given only 1/3 the recommended dosage days.  I needed 10 days of antibiotics.
There is no FDA regulation here.
who knew?

XMAS in Japan

As Xmas time rolls around, here in Japan...nothing has changed.  The Japanese do not celebrate Xmas - but since they LOVE Halloween - I had a little hope.  
But ~ NOTHING.
Well, I can't actually say 'nothing' because there are a few places here that have the lights in the windows.  I have been told by a friend that if you drive 2 hours, there is a little village that has set up Xmas lights everywhere.  My thoughts...2 hours in a car, a 3 year-old, cold outside...ummm, NO.  Luckily my husband felt the same!


In Japan some do give Christmas presents. Some parents give presents to their children, but the children do not give presents to the parents. The reasoning  ~ only Santa bring presents, so once the children no longer believe in Santa the presents are no longer given.  (That blows!)  I mean who doesn't LOVE a good present???  No matter how old you are.


Anyway, December 25th is not a national holiday in Japan, although December 23rd, which is the birthdate of the present emperor, is. Here the Xmas tradition is to maybe put up a few lights, some even might have a tree - but the actual day of Xmas is sort of a 'date night' here.
You are supposed to spend that day/night with your significant other.  Its not about family or anything like that.  Christmas seems to be closer to the Western concept of Valentine's Day.
Christmas Eve has been hyped by the T.V. media as being a time for romantic miracles. It is seen as a time to be spent with one's boyfriend or girlfriend in a romantic setting, so fancy restaurants and hotels are often booked solid. It is also a time when girls get to reveal their affections to boys and vice versa. Because of this, extending a girl an invitation to be together on Christmas Eve has very deep, romantic implications.


For single women in Japan it is really crucial to have someone to spend Christmas eve with. It is also really important for them where they spend Christmas eve and what present they receive. The whole evening must be very special, gorgeous and romantic. Japanese women who have a boy friend tend to show off, so women who don't are not happy to talk about the topic.

There is also a "sarcasm" that Christmas is compared with a woman's age. Cake shops throughout Japan always try to sell all their Christmas cakes before Christmas eve. Any cakes left after Christmas are seen to be very old or out of date. Women over 25 years old have been referred to as 'unsold Xmas cake.'
NICE.  I can only IMAGINE how well that would go over in the States.  Think of all the black eyes and sore groins the men would have if they said that to a single woman age 25!!!!  
Actually a very funny thought!


Something else strange, thanks to the marketing prowess of Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Christmas Chicken Dinner has become all the rage. Many Japanese even make reservations for their "Christmas Chicken" ahead of time. People will line up at the outlets to get their chickens.  As a result of KFC's advertising, most Japanese now believe that Westerners celebrate Christmas with a chicken dinner instead of the more common ham or turkey.


Here in our house, we have our little Charlie Brown Xmas tree (which is shorter than I am), we have a handful of presents under the tree for the little guy (most of which are Japanese so if they tear-up, we have no idea how to read the instructions to fix them!!!) and we can't send any gifts home (not that I have found anything worthy of sending) because of the "nothing over 16 OUNCES" can be accepted to the USA right now).  


Soooo...
what does one do here during this un-festive time...
WE PLAN A TRIP TO GUAM!
Now while I know Guam is NOT what you would normally think of when you think "vacation" - but, I hear its actually quite nice.  A beach, warm weather, and SHOPPING!
Yes, shopping!
They speak English, they have real stores, and real food and, and, and...a water-park!!! (Yeah - who are the coolest parent's ever gonna be this year?!!!)


So while I am missing Xmas with family, missing the snow that we got at home, and missing getting my own presents...
I am going to be pretty happy to lay my very white American butt on a beautiful sandy beach!


メリークリスマス ~ Merry Christmas!


Deeds

A Doc in a Box - LITERALLY

Some might wonder (as I did) what EXACTLY you do here in Japan when you get really sick?
When your 3 year old gets sick?
or if an earthquake knocks down your house, you escape and you need medical attention?
(By-the-way, we experienced our FOURTH earthquake last night...AT 3 AM!!)  - let me tell you - it is scary as hell to be woken up with your bed knocking against the wall...and you aren't the one making it move. VERY poltergeist.

A-N-Y-W-A-Y,
Here there is a very strict protocol:
Anything emergency - you can call the "ambulance" - but they are NOT allowed to do anything to you, administer ANY treatment or anything of the like.  They are merely TRANSPORT people.
If you want someone to DO something - stop the bleeding, wrap a broken leg until you get to the hospital to have it reattached or even just have someone tell you they suspect you are hypochondriac...you call the fire department!
Why the fire department?  I HAVE NO IDEA.

Anything non-emergency...you are on your own.
Before we moved here - we had a friend of a friend who had just moved back to the USA from Japan - she gave me her "medical" book.  All doctors in our area, their "specialty," and addresses and phone numbers. While I thought this was the best thing she could have ever done for me...now that I am here - I see it makes no difference what-so-ever!  NONE!

My son is three, and if you have a kid....you KNOW they get sick ALL THE TIME.  All the fun little germs that follow them home from school or daycare or the dreaded play area in the mall. So while we have been here only a short time - we have now seen THREE of the different children's doctors.
In the States, mom's usually go to great lengths to find a pediatrician BEFORE they have their kid.  They want to make sure that they like their personality and demeanor before entrusting their sick child to them for the next 10 years.
I had that.  Not anymore.
Now - I just HOPE I can understand, and I pray that my son never gets anything worse than a cold!

So, short version:  my list of the doctors:
(let me preface this by saying:  since we cannot read Japanese - we call the doctors by whatever the picture is on  their office door.  and they mostly all have one)
1)  The Bluff Man
2)  The Garden Lady
3) The Dolphin
4)  The Pig

Everyone here tells you something, good and bad, about each doctor - so we just started going  - to see who made ME feel better about my sons illnesses.

The Bluff Man we have seen several times.  He is somewhat quick, he speaks fairly good English, and we can usually get in the same day we call.
His office is clean and 'big' compared to everything else I have seen here. It has one bathroom (old school style), two exam rooms (both of which you can see into when you walk in the front door)  and his office - which also doubles as the MAIN exam room.
He prescribes the same medicine EVERY time.  Luckily it has worked.  I basically went in the 1st time and told him "we need Amoxicillan - the strongest you have."  (Here the medicines are about HALF the strength of medicines in America)
But it makes me wonder if he EVER prescribes anything else.  Or if Amoxicillan is his answer for it all?

The Pig I was told NEVER to go to.  But in an emergency flu situation - I decided to try it.  I was shocked when I went in.  VERY small.  The waiting room is about the size of a walk-in closet. There was no hallway to the exam room - there was a door, and then you were in a room about the size of your average American dining room.
Once in the 'dining room'  there was desk in the middle of the room, half of the room seemed to house all the supplies - stacked against the wall (and I swear there was a gurney pushed up against the boxes - casually covered by a sheet).  The other side of the room housed a couch (very old school) with a velveteen blanket over it and a stool between the desk and the couch. The couch was the exam table...scary.
This man was very talkative, and spoke very fast - broken English. He was more interested in "talking English" with me and showing my son very rudimentary magic tricks - than he was in diagnosing my child's illness.
Its sad when your 3-year-old asks why the strange man-doctor was doing those weird tricks.

Finally, The Garden Lady...I have heard she is the best pediatric doctor around here.  So much so that the adults try to go see her as well. This is where we ended up today.
Once again we walked into a building and immediately we are in the middle of 25 people waiting! While in a normal size office, or an office with more than one doctor, or even a ratty-ass Centra Care - this might not be anything to be alarmed about.  But when you have just arrived in another walk-in-closet - - it was cause for concern!
and of course they are all staring at us.  Foreigners, blonde, and very tall.  Yep, we fit right in.  ugh.

After I filled out the paper work, she said "2 hour" - I said, um...NO.
We have appointment.  She shook her head.  "We no take appointments." - well that's funny since someone told me this morning to be there at 10:30.
She walked away - and then came out another door (which I never even saw it was so small) - and she motioned us in. Maybe because we were foreigners - who knows.  I was just happy to go ahead of all those others waiting!
I was so happy to follow her I hadn't paid any attention but once I closed the door and turned around -  low and behold - I had walked into a coat closet that had been made into a makeshift exam room.
I kid you not - I could sit on the dwarf size 'cot' and put my legs straight out and touch the other wall with my feet. The room contained only a pillow, a sitting stool and a large file cabinet. My stomach got queasy just at the thought of "what have I gotten us into now?"
So they finally shuffled us into ANOTHER room - with a large (well, relatively speaking) partition. I swear it looked like a make-shift M.A.S.H. hospital.  You could hear everything going on with the patient on the other side of the partition.
Three nurses hovering on the corners - all with the Michael Jackson type hospital masks on and what looked like candy-striper outfits on.
Then a little kid comes out from the other side - sporting a mask, an IV and the rolling liquid bag.  It took everything I had to not whisk my son the hell outta there...right then.

So she (Dr. Sato - as I now know) was nice.  Spoke good broken English and she was quick.  She said he didn't need medicine "right now" - but if his fever stayed until Wednesday - bring him back to give him a BLOOD TEST.  I thought, what-the-hell?  Then the vision of the kid with the IV bag and rolling pole came back and it was all I could do to get out of there.

So we are home, no medicine, and no closer to getting a diagnosis.  We are loading up on Vitamin C, liquids and lots of rest.
And all with the conclusion that if push comes to shove...it will be back to the Bluff Man for at least a little Amoxicillan - to kill WHATEVER it is that lurks inside my child. (and hopefully some peace of mind knowing I am trying to cure him).

Suddenly the very large, over-priced, 5 doctor office we previously had in the USA- - doesn't look so bad.

Out of their closets~
Deeds

My THIRD Earthquake

Yesterday, we had another earthquake.
Here they would classify it as "a little one"...6.6


Some people didn't even know we had one.  (how that's possible is BEYOND me)  - Do they just walk around on "shaky legs" throughout their regular day?  Like someone who has the wobbly - I might be drunk walk? I just don't see how its possible not to feel these earthquakes. Or how its possible to not feel the building you are in slowly start to sway, or to hear the walls creak as they start to move?  Its creepy - period.


Anyway,
yesterday, 12:15pm...I was in the car on the top floor of a parking garage and I had finished loading my wares and just happened to be backing out of the parking spot.  As most people do - I was backing out SLOWLY, looking for other cars...and all of a sudden  - my car started shaking side-to-side and I thought "I've hit a HUGE pothole".  And I mean car shaking to the point that my head would have bounced off one shoulder pad to the other (had it been the 80s and had I been wearing them)!
So I slowed down trying to "look" at what I had run over.  Nothing.
Then I saw the car beside me rocking side-to-side.  It looked like someone was behind it, pushing it, trying to tip it over.  Yes, it was rocking that much. 


So I stopped and waited.
All of about 10 seconds ~ and it was over.


Nothing more.  No tsunami.  No panicked people running & screaming.  Basically - no one even acted like anything happened. 
So I parked the car, got out, walked over to the side rail and just looked out over the water (yes, the only place to see the water is from the top of a building because of all the industry on the coastline).
I watched and waited.  NOTHING.  


I got back in the car and started my journey home.
All the while thinking to myself...I REALLY hope I am not here when the next BIG ONE hits.  And yes, they are predicting Japan is due to get one, a BIG one,  within the next few years!

The view from my shaky earthquake perch.  
Extremely thankful that this wasn't the last thing I ever saw!!!...the top of a Costco parking garage!!!




Rockin' and Rollin' (literally) in Japan~
Deeds

Looks Can be Deceiving

So as you might guess, things here in Japan are different.  Not only in the obvious (culture, looks, schools, cars, houses) but also in the little things.

Since my son is only 3 1/2 ~ there are still certain things that he likes that are only for little kids. And whenever possible - I go through every means possible to get him the comforts of home that he wants (Cheetos, Marshmellows and even the ever elusive Cinnamon Graham Crackers).
As you can imagine, some of the things he is use to are hard to find.  Sometimes it will take a whole days search & journey around town to find what I am looking for.
One British lady I met recently explained the expat wife's daily searches for the normal as:
"We hunt and we gather.  And when we find it, we gather as much as bloody possible because you never know when you will see it again."  I thought she was joking...she wasn't.

So in my quest to be a great mom, I went on the hunt for Bubble Bath.  We brought over an ENORMOUS bottle when we moved but since we have lived here - my son has decided that he likes bubbles in his bath more than he doesn't.  So starts the search - or so I think!

The first store I hit had this display of the cutest Winnie the Pooh bottles right up front by the register.  I thought - My lucky Day!
I grab, open, smell...PERFECT.

Get home and use the sweet honey-smelling stuff in my son's bath.  It looked a little runny-ier than usual, but I thought - hey, its Japan.  It didn't bubble very much and it made the water a little cloudy.  But none-the-less, my son smelled sweet and his skin felt like butter!

One afternoon when my Japanese teacher was here, I asked her to read a bunch of labels for me, tell me what my answering machine ACTUALLY said in Japanese and to read me the contents of the new Bubble Bath.

She said it was milk & honey scent.  She said to use a capful every-time.  And she said it was FABRIC SOFTENER!!!  Yes, I have been bathing my son in fabric softener!!

Poor kid.  Luckily I have only been washing his hair with fresh water from the spout.
Once again...life changes, and things DO NOT stay the same.
Still figuring it out - one LABEL at a time!

Deeds

What's in a NAME?

• Since we have been trying to get life straight after our long journey back to the States - - I have decided that this post needs to be an easy one and the result is a list:     the names of some of the cars here.  (Since I have been keeping a list now for months - literally, a piece of paper in the glove box).

As you would guess - there are different TYPES of cars all over the world, but I have also learned that some of the same TYPE cars just have different NAMES in different countries.  I guess they sell better?!  In the States people are preferring the numbers & letters while here not so much.  Take a look!

As you will see below...some of the ones here are
ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!
(all of these should probably be prefaced by "THE" - makes it even funnier!)

I have taken the liberty of highlighting MY favorites...

Enjoy ~ ~ ~

MOVE                                                                           CLIPPER RIO
TOYOACE                                                                    HIACE
LA FESTA                                                                     PINO
LEGRAND                                                                    PAJERO
FUGA                                                                           VELLFIRE
STAR                                                                            STREAM
GLORIA                                                                       SUCCEED
HINO                                                                           NV200
AIRWAVE                                                                   SKYLINE
STAGEA                                                                      SUNNY
ELF                                                                                SPACIO (which is SO tiny)
ROYAL SALOON                                                 FUSO
LIFE                                                                               TIIDA
NOTE                                                                            SIENTA
EXPERT                                                                        RACTIE
VOXY                                                                           WINGROAD
RETARDER (no kidding)                                         FIT
FREE                                                                               MARCH
OPA                                                                                CAMI
CHARIOT SUPER EXCEED                                      REGIUS ACE
CEDRIC                                                                     HOMY
SCRUM                                                                      
STARLET TURBO  - This one, I feel I should have been driving in high school!!!

AND THE OVERALL WINNERS:

• HIGH LUXE NAKED
• TOPPO - BJ
• JOY POP TURBO                                       

Ever since I started noticing the different names...I almost break my neck or wreck the car EVERY TIME I am out and about!...as if driving on the wrong side of the road isn't enough for me these days!!!!

Enjoy your day in your JOY POP TURBO!

Deeds